just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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