Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
