i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
