Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
