did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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