evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
