I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
