like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
