dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
