Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
