you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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