I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
