ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
