He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
