why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
