Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
