Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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