Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
