tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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