Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
