pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
