weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
