The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
