I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
