I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
