I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
