just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
