I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize
