he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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