is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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