If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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