Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sext me about skeletons
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
