It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
third nipple confirmed
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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