This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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