It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
