gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
