The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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