well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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