At least make sure they are 18
Why
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
