He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
