i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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