You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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