All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The maid of honor just puked.
please come you make the beer taste better
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
