Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
