No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize