Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
