i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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