My sheets look like a crime scene.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Terrible idea I love it
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
