i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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