How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
