Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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